Honesty time.
I thought summer would be slower. I thought it would be more idyllic. I thought I would have plenty of time to plan crafts and activities and spend time enjoying them with my kids. And I would bake Pinterest-inspired banana cakes laced with creamy pudding, and tart lemon bars that I’d keep chilled in the fridge to devour on sweltering afternoons. I thought my children would play, sweetly together, to forge even closer bonds with each other. I thought I’d find regular pockets of time to write and read and enjoy life at a slower pace.
But summer, so far, is not at all like I imagined. Of course my children and I are having fun together. But we’re busy. Too busy. The minivan is constantly on the go. The sunscreen keeps running out. We’re shuttling to swim lessons and camps and playdates and lunches. I can’t pay a bill without an interruption, let alone write a whole blog post in one sitting. What a miracle that would be!
My children are bickering. And they’re not slackers when it comes to sibling rivalry. No. My kids are aiming for Olympic gold medals in an event called, Beating the Crap Out of Each Other. Expect the medal ceremony to happen. Soon.
When my kids aren’t fighting, they’re nutty and manic, tossing Legos through the air, streaking through the house, making crazed whelping sounds that penetrate my brain like a worm burrowing deep into my head whose presence prevents me from enjoying complete and complex thoughts. Maybe my kids are overwhelmed from the heat or maybe it’s the stress of the frenetic speed with which our days pass, in a blur.
I’ve far surpassed my yelling maximum for the entire year in one short month. Go, mom, you overachiever, you.
Can you flunk summer? I may be well on my way.
I’m acutely aware of summer disappearing faster than my icy pina colada does as it slips down my throat, my feeble attempt to chill out in this sweaty, triple-digit heat. I have to regroup and slow things down. I need to lower my expectations. I need to find my inner “Island Time,” and embrace “good enough.” Starting…now.
Oh, the things I have to look forward to with school aged kids 🙂 If it makes you feel any better, I feel like I’m flunking life so many days. I’m not fun enough…patient enough…kind enough…active enough. But I think you’re right – instead of placing some kind of expectation on ourselves for perfection, we can just embrace being good enough.
It’s tough no matter what, isn’t it? I have such high expectations all the time: for myself, for motherhood, for activities and events. And then I feel like I’m constantly not meeting them and I’m a failure. It’s exhausting. I want to be content with “good enough.” I want to really believe that “good enough” does the trick for me, for my kids, for life.
Totally feel the same way – seriously my older two seem to love to fight and when separated they only whine to go back to playing with each other. My workouts have gone from one hour to all two hours of my childwatch time ha! Also been too busy to plan crafts and I intended and my oldest who loves crafts has seriously called me on it…. guess I’ll be planning crafts over the weekend.
The dynamic between siblings is just crazy, isn’t it, Katie? The fighting followed by the intense love and devotion? It’s like a see saw! 🙂
Flunk summer? Nah, I hear it’s graded on a curve.
The biggest gift you can give yourself and others is forgiveness. Don’t judge. Just watch with curiosity. And let it go. Every moment is perfect and holy and just as it should be. Even when everything else tells you the opposite.