throwing myself a life raft to save summer

Honesty time.

I thought summer would be slower. I thought it would be more idyllic. I thought I would have plenty of time to plan crafts and activities and spend time enjoying them with my kids. And I would bake Pinterest-inspired banana cakes laced with creamy pudding, and tart lemon bars that I’d keep chilled in the fridge to devour on sweltering afternoons. I thought my children would play, sweetly together, to forge even closer bonds with each other. I thought I’d find regular pockets of time to write and read and enjoy life at a slower pace.

But summer, so far, is not at all like I imagined. Of course my children and I are having fun together. But we’re busy. Too busy. The minivan is constantly on the go. The sunscreen keeps running out. We’re shuttling to swim lessons and camps and playdates and lunches. I can’t pay a bill without an interruption, let alone write a whole blog post in one sitting. What a miracle that would be!

My children are bickering. And they’re not slackers when it comes to sibling rivalry. No. My kids are aiming for Olympic gold medals in an event called, Beating the Crap Out of Each Other. Expect the medal ceremony to happen. Soon.

When my kids aren’t fighting, they’re nutty and manic, tossing Legos through the air, streaking through the house, making crazed whelping sounds that penetrate my brain like a worm burrowing deep into my head whose presence prevents me from enjoying complete and complex thoughts. Maybe my kids are overwhelmed from the heat or maybe it’s the stress of the frenetic speed with which our days pass, in a blur.

I’ve far surpassed my yelling maximum for the entire year in one short month. Go, mom, you overachiever, you.

Can you flunk summer? I may be well on my way.

I’m acutely aware of summer disappearing faster than my icy pina colada does as it slips down my throat, my feeble attempt to chill out in this sweaty, triple-digit heat. I have to regroup and slow things down. I need to lower my expectations. I need to find my inner “Island Time,” and embrace “good enough.” Starting…now.