I’m a card-carrying Control Freak. So letting go of anything (and everything) is not in my nature. That includes being OK with my husband “doing his thang” with our kids. I really and truly don’t believe he’s incompetent when it comes to raising our kids. But, apparently, that’s the message I send to him. Regularly.
I don’t mean to be such a know-it-all, but I was raised by a kind, compassionate, selfless mother and a loving, confident, yet annoyingly pretty-much-never-wrong father. And, although my dad gave me so many great qualities, I blame him for my controlling tendencies (as my daughter will blame me and so on, and so on…forever, Amen). But living life as The Control Freak is no way to be part of a family (or a marriage, for that matter).
I know in my heart that my husband can parent every bit as well as I can. In fact, in so many ways he’s better. He teaches our kids to cook. He lets them get dirty. He lets them make mistakes. He provides a shoulder for them to cry on but he also knows when to tell them to suck it up. He’s smart and funny and kind and if our children turn out to be half the person he is, they’ll be incredibly successful in life.
So I need my heart to translate this to my head. I need to let go of the control and step out of the way for him be the dad he is meant to be. Otherwise, I’m not only letting him down. I’m letting my kids down too.
My post was inspired by the post, Changing Fatherhood Starts with Mothers, by Kristen at Motherhood Uncensored, who hit the nail on the head so hard, people in China are saying, “What the f*ck just poked me?”